Pink Ribbon 1 - Winter Chill

January 2000. My own, very personal, millennium hype. The shock of hearing my surgeon say – in your case the Treatment of Choice is a mastectomy. Those were his exact words. I remember them, then my mind switched off. I am left silently screaming – from George Sand in Paris using the expertise of surgeons who had just honed their skills in the Napoleonic wars, to 2000, mastectomy is, still, a 'treatment'. Luckily I didn’t have a headache or I would have been executed. Decapitated like a preying mantis spouse. Of choice. Of choice? What choice?

Preying mantis - What's for Lunch??

Friends who say – you know my granny had breast cancer and … you don’t need as enemies. Either remind me what it feels like to be happy, to laugh. Or let me cry on your shoulder, LISTEN to me, and hold me.

… women who were alone, 

teaching them to join together, 

for there is hope in two women, 

help in three women, 

strength in four, 

joy in five …
From Sheri S. Tepper in Gibbon’s Decline and Fall

Statue with first Watsonia

I remember the relief of being in a Reach for Recovery meeting, with other women, who had been there, done that. Newly diagnosed, just treated, or a reminder that the future does still exist. And someone who said – other women have gone this way, made this journey … follow the path, made by their footsteps.

Christopher LOGUE

English poet (1926- )

"Apollinaire said"

Come to the edge.
We might fall.
Come to the edge.
It’s too high!
COME TO THE EDGE!
And they came,
and he pushed,
and they flew.

This was published in London by Jonathan Cape in 1969 in New Numbers. The poet originally wrote it for an Apollinaire exhibition poster at the ICA, with the title “Apollinaire said”, but it was NOT written by Guillaume Apollinaire. (Thanks Wikipedia!)

PS I was cared for by three very special doctors. A GP who told my sister – Diana is strong, she’ll be fine. A surgeon who answered a thousand what, why, how questions, and left me with a body I can live in, and a scar I can see and touch. And a specialist who said – nice scar! – high praise from someone who spent her day looking at mastectomy scars.


If you were with me in October last year, this will be familiar. I am leaving the original posts up because I value your comments there. After this Winter Chill, Summer Gold 

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Winter Chill is the name I give to the first of four beds in my Paradise/Rose Garden. For the planting plan see In-a-Persian-garden. Week by week in October I will collect pictures of the four beds. Sorting and updating here to make a record of the Winter Chill roses at their flamboyant best in October 2010.

Winter Chill rose bed with icy flowers October 2010
(not a happy picture will keep trying)

The Winter Chill effect with silvery foliage. Santolina and Lamb's Ears

Carpenter bee. Male today

Carpenter bee. His lady a year ago

Silver Cloud with lots of buds coming

Pearl of Bedfordview

Oyster Pearl

Waiting for Great North, Tiny Tots, Spiced Coffee and Nicole to come into bloom.

Our roses came from Ludwig'sRoses

Pictures and words by Diana of Elephant's Eye